I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
