Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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