ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
