She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
