its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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