Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
