if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even the bartender felt bad for me
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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