Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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