how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
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Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
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The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
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