dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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