i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
be right there i have to get my cape
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize
