walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
