I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
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He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
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Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
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