so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
