Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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