Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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