Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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