you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
