Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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