Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Randomize
