what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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