Christians are straight up FREAKS
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. đź’€
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Randomize
