that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
