i think i have herpe
just one?
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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