btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
