Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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