Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
