Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
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