two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
