so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
