dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
