i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
