No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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