His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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