This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize