i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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