words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Randomize
