I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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