can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
