i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
