Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
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