Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
