GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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