sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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