5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
