My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
