just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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