And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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