hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
