I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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