it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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