Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
