I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Randomize
