when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Randomize