Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Randomize
