Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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