gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Randomize
