I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Randomize
