I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
MIDGETS
????
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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