I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
