Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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