dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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