just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
