kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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