Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
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Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
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The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
My vagina just clenched in fear
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