This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
